Steve was in the staff room when he was called by the headmistress. The English teacher for primary three class wasn’t in school because she was sick, so Steve was asked to teach the pupils English for that day.
It wasn’t a difficult task; Steve was a primary five English teacher, so he simply needed to see the lesson note to know what to teach. When he checked, the topic for the day was composition.
“Write a composition on the topic, My Family,” Steve instructed the pupils after he had finished teaching.
“You have twenty minutes,” He said and sat down watching the pupils.
Soon, they were done writing; he took the books and went back to the staff room where he would read and mark the compositions.
He got to the staff room and started to read. One composition got him worried.
“…I have two brothers and one sister. My Daddy does not like me. He calls me “ewu” when he is angry. I don’t like it. My mummy calls me idiot too. I want to run away from our house.”
Steve looked at the name at the back of the book, Blessing Okolie. He sent for her.
When Blessing came, she looked scared, so Steve took her to the school field and sat with her under a tree. He discussed funny things with her to get her to relax. He succeeded.
“So tell me about your family, Blessing,” Steve asked.
The 8-year old girl hesitated for a while, and then started talking. She said things similar to what she had written.
Steve discussed the matter with the headmistress and then took the phone number of Blessing’s mother from the school record. He called her and requested to see her in school the following day.
The following day, Blessing’s mother, Stella, came to school to drop Blessing (who was usually driven to school by the driver), then went straight to see Steve.
“What I am going to discuss with you, Mrs Okolie, promise me you will not scold Blessing because of it.”
Stella observed him for some time.
“Okay,” she said, “I promise.”
Steve gave her Blessing’s composition.
After reading, Stella sat down and wept.
“I love my daughter,” she started.
“I love her so much. Her daddy loves her too. But we have a weakness of using those negative words when we are angry. Ah! And I didn’t know my daughter was taking note of the names and feeling awful as a result!”
The pair had a long discussion and Stella promised she and her husband would change.
Blessing is an example of other children who endure verbal abuse from their parents who veil their negativity with scolding.
See eh, as a parent, you are right to be angry at times. You are right to express your anger too. But you must be mindful of the things you say to your children in the fit of anger. Your anger will go away eventually. You and your children will make up eventually. But many children won’t forget what you told them when you were angry.
Learn to restrain yourself in speech and action when your child provokes you. Don’t fall into the temptation of directing verbal negativity to your own children!
Children are fragile; don’t break them with your words.
You can become a Happier parent, and reduce being angry ….follow us on our Instagram page instagram.com/parentinggist for tips on how to become a happier Mum.
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