My Child is Better than Yours (When Parents Compare Children)
When your baby(child) reaches certain milestones in their lives, it’s only natural for parents to be ecstatic. It shows some progress of the child towards growth/independency.
Doing so at an even ‘faster’ pace than some of his peers may give the parent the subtle feeling that at least she is doing ‘something right’ . Sometimes, consciously or unconsciously, get the vibe that her baby/child is superior to the others.
Also, at times, when the parent gets the sense that the baby/child is not doing as well as they may think others are, the panic mode button is activated and everything the child does is just never enough.
This is especially worrying when moms, in particular, come together to talk about their kids and accomplishments.
One baby is pitted against the other and the ‘less than qualified’ baby’s mom is left frazzled and fearful.
But is such fear usually justified? Especially in this competitive age where everyone is looking to outshine the other.
Granted, some kids are born with learning difficulties. But the reality is that just as every baby is made up of different DNA, each will develop at a pace suited particularly for his own growth. Just like for adults where we find that while some are gifted in one area or more and may suck at others, so it is with kids.
When Parents Compare Children: Effects
Most times, you find that while a parent may be bragging about a feat her baby can perform, there are areas in which your baby will be doing better.
Parents should be tactful when praising their child’s milestones in front of other parents without letting the other parent feel inept.
Usually when constant comparison becomes the norm especially in front of a growing child, the lagging child may grow with the feeling of being a no-good no matter how hard they try, confidence and self-esteem may be thwarted.
Jealousy of the child being compared with could take root which may have lasting effects in adulthood.
Learning is a natural process, from babyhood, the instinct to learn is inbuilt and every child takes his pace to eventually get there no matter how long.
As the child grows, you could support the learning process at home with learning aides and some extra lessons if you feel his grades are really a cause for concern. However, learning overload should be avoided, this should not be forced but done with love and encouragement.
If you however still strongly believe that your baby/child is having some developmental/learning disability, it is good to see a pediatrician and also seek a second opinion for proper assessment of the child.
No two kids are the same.
Identify the strengths of your child and work on his weakness…. Every child is unique and different.
Thanks to our Contributor ‘Deze for this wonderful articleShare!